i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.