afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
NoShamevember. You game?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.