ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.