fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's blow job season.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL