:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
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She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
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EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The adults are the big ones right?