I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
