I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize