This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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