Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
