..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
