It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
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I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
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Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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