Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
