God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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