Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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