hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
