everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
