i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize