PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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