Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
