Too much gin, very little bucket
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
