Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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