About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
