Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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