Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
