Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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