Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
