We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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