the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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