Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
