Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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