was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
