Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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