5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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