I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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