I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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