is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
