it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Houston, we have a blender
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
