So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
