he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
