He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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