cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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