Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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