Sry I called you an 8
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
