are you so shy because you have an std?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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