At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
How does it feel to date your dad?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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