how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
try to milk me bitch
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