I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Congratulations! We have a period
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
