But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
