I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
