it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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