A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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