So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
