Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
True strength comes from lack of pants
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
