Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
