addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
