Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
