Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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