i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town