the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today