She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
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Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
40s are totally the cure
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here