physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there