Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?

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  (646): If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways? http://tfl.nu/v2q3
  Replies (2) Good night (1219) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin

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  (617): Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin http://tfl.nu/g5qp
  Replies (6) Good night (665) Bad night (845) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  So drunk i had to piss sitting down...

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  (803): So drunk i had to piss sitting down... http://tfl.nu/050t
  Replies (7) Good night (926) Bad night (378) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.

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  (860): I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore. http://tfl.nu/igz1
  Replies (32) Good night (616) Bad night (2981)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I can't believe he cheated

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how

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  (860): I can't believe he cheated (1-860): Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how http://tfl.nu/8j5c
  Replies (37) Good night (873) Bad night (2947) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.

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  (203): if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize. http://tfl.nu/tmed
  Replies (27) Good night (6079) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant

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  (202): She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week (1-202): stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant http://tfl.nu/5f4w
  Replies (63) Good night (3604) Bad night (1240)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is

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  (703): i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is http://tfl.nu/hhp3
  Replies (55) Good night (4628) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes

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  (516): Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes http://tfl.nu/edsk
  Replies (31) Good night (9097) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.

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  (720): I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like. http://tfl.nu/6yf0
  Replies (5) Good night (1507) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.

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  (973): I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend. http://tfl.nu/fzd9
  Replies (7) Good night (3247) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.

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  (239): Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America. http://tfl.nu/e8n4
  Replies (3) Good night (1462) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow

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  (206): I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow http://tfl.nu/8ygv
  Replies (27) Good night (2311) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years

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  (262): All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years http://tfl.nu/lv0h
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
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  (909): View more from California

  It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me

  (626): View more from California

  And a merry methadone to all

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  (909): It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me (626): And a merry methadone to all http://tfl.nu/a55x
  Replies (2) Good night (874) Bad night (390)

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