Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
