I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
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I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
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I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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